Gwendolyn

I forgot about this for a while.

That's probably a good thing, giving myself a chance to breathe.

My next story is a little different. Most of these stories have a kind of When Harry Met Sally quality to them. Although I have never lost a friend because "men and women can't be just friends," this type of situation usually is a factor in the friendship.

Except for Gwendolyn.

When I was a sophomore in college, I was in a leadership position in my dorm. Basically, I was there as emotional support for all of the girls on the floor, and I was responsible for planning some events in the dorm. First, let me say that I really enjoyed this position. It was an incredible amount of fun, and I became so close with the others in the position across campus. I met many of my closest friends through this position. However, it certainly had its drawbacks.

Gwendolyn was a first year student on my floor. She was one of those people that acts like she doesn't care at all what others think, but in actuality cares very deeply. I understand the feeling. I have been exactly like that at different points in my life.

I could tell immediately that Gwendolyn had gone through some rough stuff and that she needed a friend and someone to talk to.

Oh, it was incredible. I felt so sure of myself. I went into this situation with my emotional-stability-guns blazing. I was going to fix her.

It didn't take long for me to realize that what she mostly needed was a friend. A true friend. "Easy!" I thought. I could do that with my eyes closed. So I closed my eyes.

And Gwendolyn took the mile I gave her (I didn't even consider an inch) and took 50. She inserted herself into all of my friendships. She was always with me. I was ok with it, for a while. I figured, this is what good friends are like. But then I realized that she wasn't a good friend of mine. Not really. I was a good friend of hers, maybe.

I tried bringing our friendship back to the level it should have been from the start, where we interacted as we would have with me in my leadership position.

The problem was, she was in my group of friends, and I could not go anywhere without seeing her.

I swear, if Jesus himself had shown up at every single event that his followers went to, they would've gotten fed up.

The thing is, it wasn't only that. She did some pretty mean shit. Not on purpose, mostly, as far as I know. But I started to feel slightly attacked from her.

So I cut off our relationship. I would like to say it was an extremely difficult thing to do. Really, it wasn't. The difficulty was in all of the months prior that I had been wallowing in this horrendous mess of a friendship. The difficulty was in finally reaching a point where I knew I could take no more.

I think it was hard for Gwendolyn, for a time. But she got over it, and she moved on. I'm glad that I made the decision when I did, because I can't imagine what our friendship would be like if it still existed.

This story gives me some perspective, I guess, on the reasons for leaving a friend behind. I hope that those that left me behind still think about me, as I think of Gwendolyn.