Wilfred

Oh, Wilfred. This is one of my favorite stories, until it gets sad.

During my fourth year at school, I spent three weeks in Israel with a great group of people. Wilfred was one of those people. While we didn't become great friends over the trip, we did chat and make fun of each other some (the basis of many of my friendships) and we enjoyed each other's company. At the end of the trip, I figured I would probably see most of those people rarely, if ever.

But then facebook came into the picture. Wilfred, and I joked back and forth on facebook all the time. We have a mutual friend that was involved in many of these conversations, but not all. Our facebook relationship was supremely flirty. And fun. And hilarious.

After a few weeks of this, Wilfred sent me a message saying he was in a "pickle" and he wanted to discuss it with me. Could I meet him at the campus coffee house so we could have a chat?

Now, this may seem like nothing to someone who is not me. But to me, I was convinced he was going to ask me out. It was a pickle because we were both seniors and starting something this late in a college career is ridiculous. But he was going to ask me out. And I was going to say yes. Of course.

So, I am at the campus coffee house, a little bit early. I think I tried and failed to work on homework. I may have read the same page in my book ten times before he showed up. And then he did. Show up. And I was shaking. Literally trembling from nerves and excitement. It was glorious. Oh, and then it tanked.

He started telling me about a project he was working on, having to do with the feelings of LGBT folks on campus. "Have I ever told you that I'm gay?"

Pah. No. No, sir, you have not.

So we talked about his project. And he told me that he had a crush on our mutual friend. He wanted to talk with me about it because he knew I am an ally, and he thought I might have some good advice, or at least be an acceptable sounding board.

Well, it took me a bit, but I got over Wilfred. It was much easier knowing that he wasn't into me because he wasn't into girls, not just because I wasn't good enough.

But we became really good friends. For the last few months of school, we were really quite close. We dealt with some similar issues, being a feminist ally and a semi-closeted gay man who were both involved in a fairly conservative christian community. So we talked a lot about these issues. And after we graduated, we still talked on facebook.

We would update each other about our goings on, and discuss problems we had run into.

And then we didn't. He didn't. He just stopped responding, and I still don't know why. He was becoming a really close friend and support. We made each other laugh, we talked each other down, and we envisioned a better world. I wish I had a friend like that, still.